No response: If you have tapped around a couple of times and the number has not changed at all from the beginning, there are three things to look at.
- First, were you specific enough?
- Second, were you aiming at the right target?
- Third, were you using your mother tongue?
Increased response: If your number has gone up, that is actually a good sign, even though it doesn’t feel very good right now! The reason it is a good sign is that you know you have hit the target. Take it slow, but keep going. Get [help] if it gets too intense! You don’t have to do this all alone.
Expanded explanation:
No response: If you have a headache, and you take aspirin, and nothing happens, perhaps it is because it is really a sinus headache. You don’t say “aspirin doesn’t work.” You get curious about what else is going on.
When your numbers don’t drop, get curious. This knee problem that you have – instead of tapping for the knee as a whole, recognize that the knee is a very complicated mechanism. Can you isolate one point that is really nasty? Try tapping for that one point and see if the numbers go down then – or if it moves. If it moves, be happy, because when things start moving, it generally means you can keep moving it out. It may take a while – keep tapping!
But suppose you have focused down, and the knee is still killing you. Move over to what emotions are involved. Yes, it is a physical pain, but tell me you don’t have any anger about being in pain! Tap (loudly, if at all possible) about your anger at having to deal with this knee, and then the sadness at what it has cost you.
Then, and this is tricky, but stay with it: What is the upside of having this pain? Does it mean you don’t have the energy to deal with your mother-in-law? Does it mean you don’t have to go to work and are on disability? What is the downside of having the pain go away? Then you would tap saying: “Even though I don’t want this pain to go away because that means I would have to do X, I totally love and accept myself.” This feels a little crazy, because often the voice that tells you this is a small voice, and your bigger “rational” voice wants to override it and say no! But listening to the small voice is important. It may be that you decide that even if you don’t have pain, you are not going to deal with your mother-in-law! Then you can tap for your nerves about that until it feels oddly OK.
Another thing to look for is what we call “aspects.” So if you are dealing with a memory of a car accident, for example, you need to tap separately for the different sounds, smells and sights. Each one of these “registers” differently in the body, so we have to tap separately for each one of them. If you want to prepare yourself for a potentially difficult interview, you tap separately for each small thing that might be a trigger, the sound of his voice, the small cough, the smell of the aftershave, the look in his eyes. Doing this kind of careful tapping takes longer, and gives fantastic results.
Increased response: When your numbers go up, you may feel like you have done something wrong. Not at all! Actually, what is going on is that you feel safe enough to let the monkey out of the bag. Until the monkey is tamed and then released out of your life, it will not feel good. However, do not be alarmed. You have created an opportunity for healing that was not there before. Yes, it is one of those over-rated growth experiences – sorry! But once you get this tapped down, and it is possible, you will not need to spend the enormous amount of energy that it takes to keep that monkey in the bag – because it will be gone. As always, if it becomes too intense, call for help!
Finally, if at all possible, use your mother tongue. No one is going to be listening to you, it can be very childish language, but your mother tongue goes deeper than any subsequently learned language, even if you speak the new language perfectly with no accent. I have had situations where the number simply didn’t go down until I asked about language, and suddenly things changed for the person.
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